How To Get Out Of The Diet-Binge Cycle

Jun. 21

The other day, when I was thinking about what would be really helpful for me to read if I sent myself back in time to when I was really stuck in my binge eating and negative relationship with food? When I was thinking about food 24/7, overwhelmed by food noise, constantly focused on my body… what did I need to know?

What I want to talk about today are the top four things I would focus all of my attention and energy on if I wanted to get out of the diet binge cycle all over again.

Because honestly, I didn't always make the best choices in my recovery. In the beginning, I did it on my own. If you want to hear more about my eating disorder story, go back all the way to episode one. I did recovery on my own and that wasn't necessarily a bad thing- however, I definitely made a lot of wrong turns along the way. Looking back, I would not do it the same way again. I have learned a lot from the process and from my education, extra courses, working with clients, and time and experience.

So without further ado, let’s get into the 5 steps I would take if I were to do it over!

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Step #1: Put weight loss on the backburner

When I was struggling in the mental hellhole of binge eating, compulsive eating, and emotional overeating, I was so paralyzed in the fear of gaining weight that it kept me from pursuing this journey and getting to where I wanted to be in my relationship with food. The focus on weight held me back.

The fear came from my past, where anytime I eased off my diet and let myself indulge a little, I would spiral out of control. The fear was so real for me that if I pursued this journey, I felt like I might end up gaining 500 pounds. Truly, that idea is a lie. You're not going to spiral out of control forever and never be able to stop the weight gain. You’re also not signing your life away in a contract that says you’re never allowed to try to lose weight ever again.

One of the main reasons putting weight loss on the back burner is so important is that it helps tackle the Last Supper mentality. This mindset sounds like…

I'm gonna do better tomorrow
I’m going to be really healthy on Monday
I’m going to get started on this journey to healing my relationship with food after this
I'm never gonna be able to eat this food again
I’m never going to be able to eat this much again
…So I might as well get it all in right now and eat as much as I can because I'm going to clean up my act tomorrow/Monday/next month/etc.

And so that last supper mentality can cause us to eat more.

Here’s the kicker: if you’re not putting all your focus on weight loss, there’s nothing to start over for. So, there’s no reason to punish yourself and wipe the slate clean.

Your Weight Set Point

When it comes to your weight, your body likes to be in homeostasis- this is commonly referred to as your weight set point. Set point theory describes how an individual body is genetically programmed to stay within a certain weight range. As a person loses or gains weight, their body compensates to get back into that set point range. It's the range of weight that your body feels best in. Everything functions best within this weight range, you're mentally functioning well, you’re functioning well physically, your hormones are regulated best.

It’s estimated that the average person’s set point range can vary by 10 to 15 pounds. Without any external interference, our bodies respect our set point weight range (even if society and the culture at large do not). But this system, this delicate balance of homeostasis, only works the way it’s supposed to if we let it. That said, your set point weight range is not set in stone. It can change over time due to things like genetics, weight-loss attempts, hormonal shifts, and aging. That’s because, despite what diet culture says, you aren’t meant to stay the same weight for your entire life.

For many people, their set point weight falls on the higher end of the spectrum, into the “overweight” or “obese” BMI categories. This is completely normal. We are not all meant to have the same size body, just as we are all not meant to have the same height, foot size, or hair color.

Something that’s really important to know as well, is that dieting or manipulating food and exercise to try to “control” your weight messes with the body’s system and this delicate homeostasis starts to break down. Your body fights even harder to regain control of your weight-regulation mechanism. And your body pulls out all the stops to try to keep your weight within its genetically programmed set point range. That means that whenever you drop lower than your set point, your body feels threatened, like it thinks starvation is coming, so it does everything it can to help you regain weight…even if you’re trying not to.

Your body fights against this weight loss and restriction in a variety of ways:

Your metabolic rate decreases (aka the number of calories your body needs each day to stay alive)
Your thyroid activity decreases (which is involved in regulating metabolism)
Levels of your fullness hormones decreases
Levels of your hunger hormones increase
Your desire for calorie-dense foods increase

Biologically, this makes sense: If you really were starving, calorie-dense foods and an increased appetite would be a great way to save your life. These biological mechanisms that kick off after dieting is why two-thirds of people not only regain the initial weight they lost after the diet, but also put on some “extra” pounds post-diet. The body increases weight a bit higher than it was before to protect against subsequent attempts of weight loss.

With every attempt to diet, the rate of weight loss slows down, which is the reason you might find that the weight comes off easily during your first diet, but subsequent attempts don’t have the same results. Over time, chronic dieting can increase your set point weight range, and these biological responses kick in even if you are at a higher weight than “usual.” And let me be clear: this is not your “fault”. It’s not due to any lack of control or willpower: this is your body doing what it was designed to do.

So how do we know what our weight setpoint range is? We don't. But what we know is that when we have a healthy and balanced relationship with food, our weight stabilizes. So, if you have weight that's outside of what your body feels and functions most comfortably within. As you start to learn how to work in sync with your body, you stop bingeing, you start to learn how to recognize and reawaken your hunger fullness and satiety cues. And you start to listen to those and you learn how to honor those, what might happen for you is you might actually release some weight that you've been carrying. But maybe your weight goes up first while you’re in the process.

We need to let go of the white knuckle grip of control to allow your minds to relax, our nervous systems to regulate, our hormones to be able to normalize, and for our bodies to heal so they can get to a place where our weights want to be. We can only do this by putting weight loss on the backburner.

How long have you been focusing on weight loss?

Take a step back- how long you’ve been trying to lose weight for? Maybe it's your entire life. Maybe it's since you were 13 years old. It's been the better part of your life.

Has that focus on weight loss allowed you to lose weight and maintain it sustainably? If the answer is no, that it’s always gone up and down, you’ve never been able to maintain it…the focus on weight loss is not helping you lose weight sustainably.

We also need to rethink how we are considering success. Maybe you went on Weight Watchers and you lost 50lbs and felt like, “I successfully lost weight,” but honestly, if you couldn't maintain it, is that really a ‘success’?

Please know- that is not a failure on your part. That is a failure in the system of dieting. We need to learn from that instead of continuing to try to do the same thing over and over and over again. We need to shift focus away from weight loss towards healing our bodies and our relationships with food and our body image, and get to that place of genuine, sustainable balance.

When you are working in sync with your body and your body is settling in to where it achieves the most optimal level of health mentally, emotionally and physically, that feels so good internally. It can be challenging when that weight gain happens though, and it’s not what you mentally want your body to do if your weight is above the ‘ideal’ you once thought you ‘should’ get to.

Part of the recovery process is learning how to not only be in sync with your body’s cues physically, but learning how to be at peace with the way your body wants to express itself from a weight standpoint. It might be higher than what you once hoped for, or what society thinks you should be, and especially if you’ve been on and off dieting for so long, your set point may have increased. That is hard. That requires grieving, which is such a huge part of what I help my clients work through in my coaching program.

At the end of the day, it’s the choice between fighting your body to stay at a lower weight than it wants to be for the rest of your life, constantly white knuckling it, guilting and shaming yourself for eating, feeling like a failure, and inevitably bingeing or learning to work with your body and finding peace and ease and balance and knowing that you're taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Step #2: Make sure you’re fuelling your body enough

This step is so key because you have likely been brainwashed into thinking you should eat certain amounts, certain portion sizes, at certain times of day and not others, that you should ignore your hunger or avoid fullness, only eat until you’re just not hungry anymore.

In so many ways, we get tuned out from our bodies and into following these rules that end up making us lose control with food and make us feel like we’ve failed when really our bodies never wanted all the rules in the first place.

So we need to take a look at meal timing first. Are you eating regularly throughout the day? Are you eating within 1-2h of waking? Are you going more than 3-4h without eating? If you are, this is a big red flag. And you might be like, “well Brittany I’m not hungry throughout the day.” This is another red flag!

If you’re not feeling hungry during the day or you’re going for hours and hours without eating and you’re fine, but you’re still experiencing binges, what that says to be is your brain has switched off your hunger and fullness cues, adn we need to work to turn that switch back on.

We do so with regular eating. Even if you’re not feeling hungry, we have to implement mechanical eating, before we can jump to intuitive eating

The goal is to help your body feel normal hunger and fullness, so you can ultimately figure out what eating pattern DOES work for you.

Step #3: Work on your beliefs about food, your body and health

This is a huge one, because I know that you have a ton of stories about health and what is healthy and what is not, and stories about food and weight and beauty and yourself and your place in the world.

These narratives are allll playing into how you eat, how you take care of yourself, how you think about yourself and so much more. We need to take a big step back and look at all those limiting beliefs that are hanging around- they are keeping you stuck in diet culture and feeling like it is the answer. They’re playing into you feeling like you need to change your body in order to feel worthy and feel loved and accepted and enough.

If you feel like you want to lose weight just because you want to feel more confident, I want you to go deeper than that. It’s not just about that, there is more there. We need to peel back the layers and keep asking why. What does that allow me to do? Why do I need to do that or feel that? Because I want to, or because I can….keep on going. Keep peeling. Get to what’s underneath.

Hitting a goal weight or size and thinking that's going to make you happy, I promise you, that is a lie. It’s a goalpost you're trying to reach that will always continue moving further and further away every single time you get there. It will feel good for a bit and you’ll get that validation and you’ll be happy with it, but after a while, because you’ve been focusing on weight loss as the means to feel better about yourself, the desire keeps coming back. It’s never enough. That goalpost keeps on moving.

Getting to a place where you feel confident and comfortable in your own skin because you've found a relationship with food and exercise that feels good and you have your mental health in check, that is bliss, that is beauty. That's the mountaintop that’s available to you. But you have to challenge that idea that weight loss is the only way to get there, that changing your body or looking a certain way is automatically going to bring you to that place of peace, it’s just not true.

And I know there are concerns about comfort and feeling good in your body and those are completely valid. But I also want you to take a step outside of the weight focus, because that becomes really narrow. It focuses all your attention on one factor that could possibly help you feel more comfortable and forces you to ignore all the other factors out there that would likely help and make a big difference in how you feel and how comfy you are in your body. Things like working on your flexibility, improving your fitness level, building your strength, getting clothes that actually fit and are comfy and dont dig in or cut you off in weird places. Those pieces all help you feel better in your body and better about yourself, and we kind of ignore those things when we are tunnel vision with weight loss and believing that is the only way to feel better.

Your life purpose isn't to spend 90-95% of your time and mental energy every single day worrying about food and body issues. Regardless of what your history is, or how long you've been struggling, this freedom is available for you too. But it really starts with looking at all your beliefs about yourself, health, your weight, beauty, relationships, love, fitness, food, everything. Asking yourself where you got those beliefs, where have you seen examples that don’t support those beliefs. And asking yourself what do I believe? What do I want to believe? How do I want to think about this, what feels balanced and supportive and truly in my best interest? How would I want my best friend or my child or a close loved one to think about this? Those are your true beliefs. Challenging those belief systems that are limiting you to living within diet culture is so key, and something I really want you to start doing right now, as soon as you’re done this episode.

Step #4: Create a food habituation plan to normalize trigger foods

As we talked about before, that belief of “if I let myself eat what I want, I’m going to lose control. I’ll only eat foods that are bad for me” is a valid concern, because every time you’ve let yourself just eat and you’ve let go of the white knuckle grip of control, you’ve totally lost control and you’ve binged. So over time, you develop this belief that “I can’t control myself around food” and “this is just how I am.”

With food habituation, it’s important to acknowledge this isn’t how you naturally are with food. Certain foods are not inherently trigger foods or binge foods. You CAN control yourself around sugar or pizza or whatever it is- that is step 1, to challenge that belief that you are this way inherently or that you just can’t control yourself around certain foods. Those beliefs play into self sabotage, and it becoming a self fulfilling prophecy. You were not born a binger, certain foods are not just binge foods, it’s a learned behaviour. It’s a habit. And just like you learned it, you can unlearn it.

So what is food habituation? It means that the more you expose yourself to a food, especially if it used to be off-limits, the less power it has over you with time because we simply get used to it being there. Diets don't give us peace with food in the long run because they prevent food habituation. When there are rules and moralizing language around food, like "good" or "bad", or when we place a lot of restrictions on our eating, those foods will always feel like they're on a pedestal in our lives. And as a result, we'll feel like we can't control ourselves around them.

The more we offer ourselves permission around a certain food, the more normalized it will become in our lives and it's no longer put on this pedestal or has a lot of rules surrounding it. There’s no reason to eat it all now and overeat or binge, because it’s always going to be there. You create an abundance mindset around it, which removes the scarcity and the urgency so you can just be chill around it and at ease and at peace.

And this is one of the many reasons why diets don't work and don’t give us peace with food in the long run, to frame it differently in the long run is because diets prevent food habituation from happening. And you might even want to think back on some of your past or current diets to see how they prevented this process of food habituation. For example, let's say you were doing keto and demonizing carbohydrates. By using all the moralizing language around food, like good, bad should shouldn't and By not allowing yourself to have them, you prevented food habituation. And when you did finally have them, you might have binged and felt guilty about it. Those foods with those labels with those restrictions are always going to feel like they're put on a pedestal in our lives. And as a result of that, we are going to feel like those foods have a lot of power over us, or that we can't control ourselves around those foods when we are exposed to them.

There are a lot of different ways to go about food habituation- there’s no 1 right way. I believe it’s very important to have a plan for how you’re going to go about it, what you’re going to do, and how you’re going to respond if you go overboard (because that will inevitably happen). Just going in blind and saying “I’m going to give myself unconditional permission!” is not helpful way because it can lead to a lot of guilt and shame which plays into mental restriction and makes the honeymoon phase with food last a whole lot longer and more uncomfortable.

So, we need to make a plan. Starting off with, checking off the boxes of:

Am I eating enough?
Am I eating regularly throughout the day, ideally every 3-4h?
Are my portion sizes adequate to get me through to the 3-4h mark? Am I feeling really really hungry when the next meal rolls around?
Do I have enough variety in what I’m eating right now? Within what feels safe, am I having different foods each day?
Am I getting enough fat, protein, fibre in my diet?

If you’re going into food habituation but you’re not eating enough, you’re not feeling satisfied, and your body is not getting enough of what it needs, you are going to sabotage your efforts to habituate yourself to the food you’re trying to normalize.

You’re going end up going overboard and bingeing on that food for much longer than you actually need to. Your body is not getting what it needs, so you’re going to be hardwired to want more and more of that trigger food, which is going to trigger you. You want to go into the food habituation process fed and satisfied as much as possible.

Next is asking which style of habituation you want to go with.

There are 3 styles of food habituation going from the most all-in, to the slowest and most stepwise approach

First style of food habituation is total unconditional permission. Meaning, you are going to just allow yourself to have all the foods, without any restriction, as much as you want. This style is not for everyone, but can be helpful to get it out of the way and get it over and done with.
The second style of food habituation is to do one food at a time, like chocolate, then chips, then baked goods, and so on.
The third style of food habituation is to do a more stepwise approach, to go really slow and essentially food chain your way to the scary foods. So let’s say chocolate is something you used to binge on a ton and so you never have it anymore because you always binge. Where we might start with this, if let’s say a lindt chocolate bar feels like your ultimate weakness, to start off with a granola bar with chocolate chips in it or a chocolate flavoured protein bar. Then you get really comfy with that, then move onto something a little more challenging, like maybe those individually packed brookside chocolate blueberries. Then get comfy with that. Then move onto something else that more closely resembles lindt, like those chocolate bark thins they have at costco. Then the lindt chocolate. Now this takes more time but it can be a way to really build your confidence on the way to challenging a fear food.

You might start with type 3, then feel more empowered, move to type 2 and then be like okay I’m ready to actually just give myself permission with all foods. It’s really up to you and your personality, and what feels brave to you because we always want it to feel that way.

The next part of the plan once you’ve decided on the style is to decide when you’ll introduce those foods and how often. And this is really important- make sure to have the food WITH other foods that are safe, filling, satisfying. Have it in your usual meal rhythm.

For example, I normally have an afternoon snack at 3, so I’m going to include the food I’m working on in that snack. Don’t go and have the chocolate on it’s own or just have it at a random time of day- that could make it feel like you’re doing something wrong. We want to be really mindful of keeping this process feel as brave as possible and not sending you into a place that feels like you’ve gone too far or messed up, so “I may as well binge now and start over tomorrow.”

Go with your rhythm you’ve created, and bring it into the snack or meal.

Give yourself permission, remind yourself that food is in your life forever now, it’s not going anywhere, and it’s going to also be a part of your snack or meal tomorrow and the next day and the next day. Remind yourself, “I have permission to eat this and enjoy it. I am allowed.” Sink in to the pleasure of eating the food and enjoy it.

Step #5: Get support straight away

Your book is in the process of being written and you just had one hell of a chapter. The highs, the lows, the breakthroughs, the courage, the fear, right, that makes a story exciting. So don't beat yourself up for struggling. That's what makes life purposeful is the struggle. We grow through it.

Of course, nobody wants to have this struggle. But if it's your reality right now, be okay with it. lean into it, don't be afraid of it, because you have the power to evolve out of it, but don’t be afraid to ask for support in the process.

So often I have clients come to me who say, “I’ve been trying this on my own and I’m so frustrated, I am doubting the process, but I still really want this, I want food freedom.” And that is okay if you wait until that point to reach out for help, but also just know that you don’t have to wait until this point to reach out. Because you will spend a lot longer in this process than if you had just reached out for help sooner, to get a plan, to get strategy, and to get personalized advice that is just for you and tailored to your issues and your challenges.

I wish I reached out for help from day 1 because I would have avoided so many speed bumps and frustrations and moments that felt like failures along the way. There is no shame in asking for help, because truly this process is hard to do it on your own, because you can’t see your blind spots. But I can! And that’s what I’m here for, to highlight those blind spots and help you build up your toolbox of strategies to tackle them so you can move forward and onwards and upwards and feel normal and confident around food and with yourself again.

And that’s what happens inside the Empowered Eaters Collective, you get a step by step guide for how to heal your relationship with food and your body, and you get a community of others who get it and know exactly what you’re going through. Everyone is so supportive and welcoming and it is truly such a safe and special place and I really encourage you to try it out and see for yourself. You get weekly group calls, access to my program and other courses, a platform to connect with others and ask questions, and new content every month. Currently it is $37/month, I will be raising the price soon but if you get in at this price it will remain the same for the entire time you’re a member. Head to brittanyallisonrd.com/membership for more info and to sign up today!

Until next time,

Britt

Time stamps

Putting Weight Loss on the Back Burner (00:03:23) Brittany discusses the importance of putting weight loss on the back burner to tackle the last supper mentality and understand the body's set point weight range.

Understanding Setpoint Weight Range (00:05:45) The concept of the body's setpoint weight range is explained, along with the impact of chronic dieting on the body's regulation mechanism.

Choosing Food Freedom and Body Acceptance (00:13:03) Brittany discusses the process of grieving and accepting the body's natural expression, emphasizing the importance of working with the body and finding peace and balance.

Reconnecting with Hunger Cues (00:22:46) Explores the need to focus on mechanical eating, regular meal timing, and turning back on hunger and fullness signals.

Challenging Beliefs About Food and Body (00:27:23) Addresses the impact of beliefs on eating habits, self-worth, and the pursuit of weight loss as the sole means of feeling confident.

Food Habituation (00:35:17) Explaining the concept of food habituation and how exposure to certain foods reduces their power over time. Creating a plan to normalize trigger foods and challenging beliefs about self-control and food habits, addressing hunger, variety, and nutrient intake.

Styles of Food Habituation (00:40:31) Discussing different approaches to habituating oneself to trigger foods, from unconditional permission to stepwise introduction. Guidance on introducing trigger foods within regular meal rhythms and giving oneself permission to enjoy them.

Reaching Out for Help from a Food Freedom Coach (00:45:28) Encouraging reaching out for help with personalized advice and strategies for tackling challenges in the food freedom process.

Empowered Eaters Collective (00:46:22) Details about the benefits of joining the Empowered Eaters Collective, including community support, weekly group calls, and access to programs and courses.