Are You A People Pleaser? And Why You Use Food As a Coping Mechanism

As a recovering people pleaser, I've experienced firsthand the detrimental effects of this behaviour on our mental and physical health. I've been stuck in diet binge cycles, despised my body, and struggled with the constant need for validation and approval from others.

Being a people pleaser is more than just a personality trait. It's a trauma response that can significantly impact our eating behaviour. It's about constantly seeking validation, prioritizing others above oneself, and suppressing one's own thoughts and feelings to avoid conflict. Today, I want to share with you my personal journey and insights on a topic that's close to my heart - the connection between people pleasing, emotional overeating, and binge eating.

Time stamps

Signs of People Pleasing (00:02:49) Brittany discusses the signs of being a people pleaser, such as having a hard time saying no, seeking validation from others, and prioritizing others above oneself.

Setting Boundaries and Saying No (00:04:37) Brittany emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and practicing saying no, providing examples of situations where it's necessary to say no to protect mental and emotional well-being.

Negative impacts of people pleasing (00:13:39) On identity, relationships, and mental health, and its connection to disordered eating.

The Connection Between People Pleasing and Emotional Overeating (00:16:30) This topic discusses how people pleasing and upholding unrealistic body standards can lead to dysfunction with food, including emotional overeating and binge eating.

Using Food as a Coping Mechanism for People Pleasers (00:17:30) This topic explores how people pleasers tend to use food as a way to cope with emotions due to suppressing their feelings and avoiding conflict.

The Lack of Self-Care Among People Pleasers (00:18:29) This topic highlights how people pleasers often neglect their own needs and prioritize others, leading to a lack of self-care and contributing to binge eating and emotional overeating.

Embracing the courage to be disliked and setting boundaries (00:26:21) Encouragement to embrace the courage to say no, set boundaries, and not perpetuate people pleasing behaviours for the rest of one's life.

Recognizing the Signs of People Pleasing

How do you know if you're a people pleaser? Some signs include having a hard time saying no, constantly seeking validation and approval from others, and prioritizing others above oneself. You might find yourself volunteering for things you don't want to do, not asking for help, and taking on more than you can handle.

Another sign is feeling guilty or ashamed when asserting your own needs or asking for support. This stems from a lack of self-worth and difficulty extending the same care to yourself as you do to others. You might also find yourself constantly overcompensating for mistakes or shortcomings instead of accepting them as part of being human.

The Impact of People Pleasing on Mental Health and Body Image

People pleasing can lead to high levels of stress and burnout. It can affect your body image and self-worth, and lead to a lack of self-acceptance. The constant need to please others can lead to feelings of resentment and anger, as well as a negative impact on mental and physical health, relationship with food, and body image.

The good news is, it's possible to break free from the cycle of people pleasing. It starts with practicing saying no and setting boundaries, even if it means disappointing others. Saying no is important for our mental and emotional well-being.

The Connection Between People Pleasing and Food Dysfunction

People pleasing and upholding unrealistic body standards can lead to dysfunction with food. It's not just about restricting food, but also suppressing emotions. When we suppress our emotions to avoid conflict or please others, it creates internal pressure that needs to be released. This can result in impulsive moments of emotional overeating or binge eating as a way to cope.

To break free from this pattern, it's important to prioritize self-care and set healthy boundaries. This includes engaging in activities that bring joy, practicing assertiveness, and seeking support. Addressing underlying traumatic experiences is also crucial, as unprocessed emotions can fuel toxic behaviours with food.

Embracing the courage to be disliked and learning to say no and set boundaries is a beautiful part of this journey as well. It will bring freedom in various aspects of your life. By letting go of the need to please others at the expense of your own well-being, you can experience a newfound sense of liberation.

I'm currently accepting new clients for one-on-one coaching to help individuals develop a more balanced relationship with movement, food, and their bodies. You can book a free discovery call here or reach out to me on Instagram or send me an email at brittanyallison.rd@gmail.com for more information.

I wish you a wonderful week and weekend and look forward to connecting with you next time! Remember, the journey to a healthier relationship with exercise and food starts with self-reflection and understanding. You’re not alone- we’re in this together.

Until next time,

Britt

Keywords: Food Freedom Life podcast, registered dietitian, shame, shame spiral, binge eating, emotional overeating, acceptance, shame-free, present moment, small gradual changes, high achievers, relationship with food, bodies, whole person, managing binge eating, universal human experience, unworthiness, loss, self-doubt, rejection sensitivity, past experiences of rejection, judgment, normal relationship with food, distorted lens, disordered eating, impact of shame, gradual changes, all-or-nothing mindset, focusing on managing binge eating, societal expectations, fixing symptoms, underlying beliefs, shame triggers, coping behaviors, self-awareness, introspection, positive changes, past experiences, societal messages, body image, self-worth, practical tips, slowing down